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Why is it that people always let you down

but your animals never do.....

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June 21st, 2008

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So a week has past... im feeling much better after that little break down i had.. managed to stay a whole week at school... Talked to the teacher i had a run in with a few weeks ago and were on ok terms again... i dont really have much to do with her.. so alls good... issues with my students or two girls in particular.. one of which has a horrid mother.. I can now tell where she gets it from... I swear kids these days.. and not all of them i must point out.. seriously.. the things kids do because their parents give them permission to do or teach them to do.. not through words but actions... seriously... i will kick my kids ass if they try some of this crap... but yeah its funny how when your having issues with a kid and then you meet the parents and it all becomes so clear... but anyways... my group leader rang up this parent and once ive had a meeting with the kid all should be ok...

Im really loving this job.. as in the day to day of teaching kids but man i could do without those psyco 'my kids are angels' parents and the politics at the school... ohh well i guess all work places have the same shit.. all i can say is thank god im not at my old work.. cos there i had all the politics and the bitches but it was worse because the job itself has no meaning... atleast here im doing something.. And i feel like i have a really good relationship with the majority of my kids :O) so yeah that part of my life is all happy...

Im kinda glad my horse got sick a few weeks back.. not because he was hurt or cos i was stressed but because ive now gotten into a routine of seeing him every night... which is great.. because i used to see him once a week.. which just wasnt enough... but now we have a great routine and i get to cuddle him every night after work while he eats.. which helps especially after a hard day :O)

The rest of the family is good.. everyones healthy enough.. This weekends going to be great.. im seeing heather tonight at chade for a movie.. and lovisa and shenna for lunch tommorrow before playing bball... yaaaay for me... just have to fit in some actually work before then and all will be good... One more crazy week at work and then holidays!!! Yaaaay....

Hope everyones well :O)

June 14th, 2008

.....

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Dont know why i bother saying wow that i havent been on here lol.. last few times i wrote it was like wow a month since i was on here.. then wow 6 months lol and now have a look... 6 months again haha...

Id like to say im happy and all is wonderful... but then what would i need a journal for? Let me say that overall life has been good... work is great.. my kids are wonderful.. i love teaching... i love who i work with... i dont quite have the social life i want... but i do have nice friends and regular enough hangouts... I dont have a man... and i want one but i do not have the motivation to clean up my life to fit one in...

I was gonna come on here and talk about how low i am right now... and i am... ive barely been able to exist... but im not going to bother.. after reading my past entries ive realised just how much i sook about life... So im going to try from now to sook less.. and to try and move and function... and let go of things more... I want to be happy and to enjoy my life and my job... and the ppl around me.. i want to give less of my time thinking about ppl who are not worth my time... i hate being angry and anxious... I need to learn to breath....

So ill try and come on here... ill try and write good things as well as bad... i know i need to vent more.. and document things more...

January 7th, 2008

Bored!!!!

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what an interestingly boring day... I woke at 1030am all pumped to do shit... but decided to stay in bed.. and alas when i woke up it was all gone... i managed to have a shower.. and get on the net and ive been here ever since! Havent seen my horse since the new year.. maybe two weeks.. havent gone walking or jogging (haha im sooo kidding myself there) these whole holidays... have done nyet... and am sooo fighting the urge to be not disappointed in myself... plus im going abit gurly cos i went on a kinda date sat night and despite telling myself the boy isnt my type...theres something about him.. granted he doesnt fit my ideal type.. but he makes me laugh and i wasnt bored... but yeah... this one date has made me girly... rush rush rush.. thats all my brain does... and over think... god im the queen of over thinking... must just forget about it all... yet here i am online.. cos he is.. and waiting for him to msg me... im such a dick.. seriously... but tis ok.. tomorrow im hanging out with Cam and hell be another distraction... and im sure after that day ill have one more reason to be girly lol... doomed doomed doomed... on a positive note.. cams bringing round teacher shit for me.. and will take me to see my horse and feed me hehe so overall im very excited.. cept for the fact he wants to come over at 10am!!!! Evil.. hehe

January 2nd, 2008

Tis been a while

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Wow 6 months... tis been a while... id like to say nothing happened in the last 6 months but id be lying... i was just exhausted and the idea of getting online to write about it.. well i just didnt have the drive...

The last 6 months were hard... i broke... mentally and physically... depression kicked into over drive to the point where i barely functioned... i couldnt cook for myself.. wash dishes or wash clothes.. everything piled up.. til one day a week i magically got the energy up to clean it all...

Then my back went on me again.. in a huge way... a month out of work... very very bad... its still not good...

Its offical... my work place.. and ie my boss broke me... in all the ways above and more... but thankfully as of the 21st of december... i am free of that place.. and that stupid slag of a boss... I will be starting my new job as a teacher on the 24th of Jan... and am hoping to start up my journalling around the same time so that i might reflect and vent on any issues i might come across as a new teacher...

other news... ummm got rid of daniel or bike boy... sooo not worth my time... saw way to many islander men today... not helping at all... god i wish i could be back on the island... i need me an islander man again... lol...

my puppy goldie isnt doing so good... ive offically accepted that she is old and on limited time... exactly what no one knows.. it could still be years or months.. who knows.. but shes breaking my heart... i know its bad to say.. but appart from my horse flicker i dont think ive ever loved one of my animals as much as i do goldie.. and thats saying alot cos i have 6 amazing animals... but goldie is my baby... she is gorgeous.. and dedicated and gentle and everything i could ever want company wise... if i could take her with me everywhere.. everyday.. i would... but yeah im losing her... shes going deaf and blind and abit senial... she shakes and limps.. i think she had arthritis... shes starting to eat less and be fussy about it... shes lost alot of weight... i really feel like i just havent had enough time with her... i feel like i havent appreciated her these 13 years... i cant imagine my life without her... Let hope im wrong.....

and on that sad note.. is hould finish by saying im doing ok.. my depression is under control... im lacking motivation and am sleeping alot.. but im happy and relaxed... 3 more weeks of holidays... :O) im just glad im finally here...

I hope everyones well.. and that they have a wonderfully successful 2008...

Love Missa

October 7th, 2007

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Ok so its been one month since i was last on here.. lots been happening.. well i pretty much broke... im still broken.. both physically and mentally... i guess 3 years of work work work and no rest broke me.. i got sick alot and in the end ive hurt my back... so much worse than ever before.. its now a month and counting and im about 50 % better.. i havent been over to see my family in a month.. i cant drive for two long... im feeling slightly motivated tonight cos i just finally got an assignment done... my 2nd last for the rest of my life... but really under all this im in a serious bout of depression.. not so much the wanna cry all the time type.. but the i cant do anything but get out of bed in the morning kinda depression... my assignment will be 2 days late.. and ive never ever been late ever... so that says alot about how bad i am... i live by myself yet my sink has 7 large plates and 5 bowls in it... and i have no clean cuttlery left... i have rubbish all over the place.. and i havent washed any clothes... so its been bad... thankfully ive atleast filled the sink with water.. so things are looking up :OP

One small victory for this week.. i managed to apply for a teaching job at the school i did my rounds at... it wasnt at all my best effort.. i had to do it the night before... see above for reason.. but i got it done.. lets hope i get an interview...

On other news... i kinda have a man.. well i dont have him but i have had him.. he doesnt want a relationship.. and thats ok.. id prefer we caught up more.. cos well ive suddenly remembered why i like sex so much... but least its something... im still most definitely looking for a boyfriend.. and will give this one up should something real come along... but im not so much in a rush... my lifes far to broken to try and build something with future possibilities... maybe next year.. when everything will be magically be better... or so i keep telling myself...

on another side note... the sex isnt really all that good... its funny how although its been awhile i still remember whats good.. and what most definitely is not.. maybe thats why im not to bothered that he doesnt want to be my bf... mean i have ridiculous chemistry with this guy... instant and exceptionally strong... just his smell turns me on.. and my god can the guy kiss... but the sex is all selfish.. and fast.. which would be fine except for the selfish part... and hes somewhat reserved when it comes to sex.. im thinking he hasnt had too many partners... hes had a long term relationship.. so he knows where things go... but its all just plain and mechanical... and all the fun things i like.. he is freaked out about... i mean.. who doesnt like showering with their partner?? I mean really... but yeah... for now hell do... like i said ... despite all this and myself... i am majorly attracted to the boy... so well see..

ohh speaking off boys.. i seem to be surrounded with boys i cant have or shouldnt... did i meantion how hot my physio... seriously... he just proves that i should be dating boys under 30... god is he hot.. and alas just newly taken... 

Okies well ive talked enough.. hope everyones well... Love you all

July 9th, 2007

I thought the drugs had fixed everything... i thought i was magically better.. but clearly i am not.. for i am in a magnificently deep hole... and im having a hugely difficult time digging my way out of it...

On friday i made the mistake of admitting that my dog was sick and that i couldnt just wait 6 months til i had money to fix her... so i a psyco freaked out state i found out that the operation would cost $700 and began hitting up my banks for cash... fortunately national came to the rescue.. and gave me cash and the dog was booked in... saturday i woke up and i was a gonner.. i was soooooo down... horribly down... i went to my grandmas and was a horrible horrible guest... massively depressed and snappy.. and just crapp... which ended in my sitting at the kitchen table balling my eyes out.. at which time i had to run to a back room cos i was sooo embarrassed.. my grandma came in and crawled up onto the bed to hold me while i cried uncontrollably for however long.. til all the hair at the back of my neck was soaking wet... finally i got to the point where i could go back out into the kitchen.. and everyone was sooo nice to me... which i appreciate it... see my family never got it.. well not my mum anyways .. my whole life she just told me to get happy.. like its a choice.. but my aunty/friend understands.. as does my uncle.. and it was soooo good to have them back me up when my grandma said i should just 'get happy'... its not that easy.. if it was... i would be fixed now... no one would be depressed...

but anyways.. i had ebony over with me on sat night.. for the company and the opertunity to distract myself.. it kind of worked.. but not fully.. i drove her back to grandmas and on the way home last night i was in a car accident... my fault cos i shouldnt have been driving.. my head wasnt right for it... i didnt even see it happen thats how messed up i was.. luckily no car or ppl damage.. so hopefully i dont get hit up for anything.. cos that would really help me... i drove home... bawling my eyes out... dying to get home.. then i get home and check my email and my dad has msged me out of the blue telling me hes in melb and wants to see me... we havent seen each other for 7 years... i wrote back telling him how damaged i am and that the stress of meeting him probably wouldnt help at all... he hasnt written back at all...

so im home today.. and im not better.. not at all... tomorrow im going to the doctors.. and goldie is having her operation... so besides the scare that she may not make it through theres the off chance that if she does the bloods they will be taking will tell me she has kidney failure or cancer or some other horrible thing... so yeah... knowing my luck...........

June 19th, 2007

Ive decided to keep my last two posts up... looking back on them im slightly embarrassed but as these posts are a snap shot of how one feels in a moment in time.. i guess i should leave them up cos well thats how i felt... as for today... im fine... im living life... i havent met anyone in real time.. and unless i randomly meet someone walking down the street i dont plan on meeting anyone too soon... a guy at work has been rather interested in me.. but i realised when he was nagging me to invite him over.. that unless the guy is someone im really into... i cant be bothered with the whole dating thing... i cant be bothered cleaning my house... or not paying a bill so that i have money to go out with the guy... next year will be different.. next year ill have time and money... so until then... unless i meet someone who comes and knocks me off my feet then im happy as i am...

In other news.. my rounds are almost done.. only this week to go... already saying good bye to some of my classes... going to miss the year 7s especially.. theyre gorgeous... i surveyed them today to see how they feel about me and my teaching.. and the survey results show i have a friendly personality, that im easy to discuss issues with and that generally i dont scare or piss off the students... so thats nice :O) I feel loved... even one of the boys who is usually a pain for others.. wrote that he wants me to come back and teach and that he'll behave if i do :O) How cute...

June 12th, 2007

Fucking men....

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In sooo sick and tired of feeling anxious when i hear about Dom and Robs lives... Dom in clearly living his life.. 5 years on from me.. yet i still get cut when i see him with other girls or talking about them... and then i join facebook.. to keep in touch with him... and find rob on there.. he sees that all my mates on there are boys and include dom.. and that i consider myself single.. cos well i fucking am.. and he goes and updates saying hes single and adds a whole heaps of chicks to his group.. including one that mentions... did you enjoy your trip home??? what the fuck trip home??? to aus?? Ive been waiting a year and a half to meet him and some chick is talking about his trip home??

The worst part about this is that i feel sick to my stomach that i put up with this shit... mean while... ive met someone at work.. who i kinda dont mind.. but i find myself freaking out before it begins... trying to find any reason why not to start it... i swear im farked up... ps the drugs arent working so much tonight.... i have a headache.. and its all just shit...

June 11th, 2007

Im sick... first cold in god knows how long... so im sitting here in the computer room trying to do anything but do the lesson plans i need doing for tomorrow... its 1120pm.. and ive had 4 days off.. in which i slept and watched tv and did nothing else... I barely even left the house... everyone says that when your sick you should rest... but im sure they didnt mean at home by yourself with no one to talk to for 4 days??? Ohh my god.. seriously not liking my life right now... 4 days is a long time to analyse things... I live in the past because i cant be bothered trying to find a future.. im kinda on hold while i do this degree.. telling myself that when its done and i start teaching ill magically meet another teacher and fall in love and all my dreams will come true... I still think about raro... wishing that i could go back.. not because i had real love there.. but because i had a life... i worked and then at night and on weekends i was out dancing.. and i had a man who wanted me... i know it was fake.. i know it was just a holiday.. but sometimes thinking back to then is all i have and its sad... then if that doesnt work i think back to dom.. or thon... i still talk to dom.. and i still get upset when he talks about talking to girls... its been 5 years since ive seen him... we have nothing left.. yet i hold onto possibly meeting him again in the future instead of finding someone to have here and now... I still talk to rob.. and he still promises me the world and never delivers... im surrounded by exs.. who are exs for a reason and apparently the dream of the past is enough for me... or atleast thats what i tell myself when im busy... but this weekend i wasnt busy... i was bored shittless.. and i was alone...

I have 2 weeks left on my rounds... they have been amazing.. seriously amazing... the kids are not to bad at all... a little naughty/cheeky and not interested in working... but worth the effort... the only bit that gets to me is that theyre not mine... im only there for 5 weeks... so in the end i cant see how they progress... i wish i was teaching already... cant believe its still 7 months... 7 months of melb uni... then again i cant believe that its only 7 months left... ive been there over 2 years.. and ive survived... being on these rounds ive realised that i have a decent group of ppl i work with... not so much ppl i hang out with outside of work... god knows only a few of them have even msged me while ive been gone... but atleast ppl to have lunch with and gossip etc... made me realise how much id have to do that again at my next job... I really do hope its at this school... my supervisor russell and i get on fantastically.. and he hasnt had anything bad to say bout me... hes going to takl to the principal about getting me a job there... the principal herself has introduced herself to me.. and knows id like to teach there.. and its well known that one of the teachers there is retiring next year... so who knows...

Okies.. so anyways.. in the spirit of wasting time... i found this thing in my old blurty journal and realised id filled it in for 2003 and Jan 2006... so i thought id fill it in for June 2007 and compare how im going...



December 13th 2003...

FIRSTS


First job: RJs sandwich shop at chadestone shopping centre... The manager, his parent and some of the ladys there were horrible.. I came home crying nearly every day... Most of them still work there too.. Funny how he always has employment signs up.. cos no one ever stays there... So yeah if you happen to know Chadstone and RJs sandwich shop in the big food court.. feel to go pass and spit on them for tormenting me haha....

First screen name:lol... ummm well it was anus_fable??? which when seen like that sounds very um dirty.. although ive never really come up with a meaning for an anus fable but yeah.. it was meant to be... anu's (my dog) and fable (after a cool song by robert miles... from the ever after sound track... plus I like the name)

First self purchased tape: 1927... self titled... I used to take my tape player into the bathroom... sit on the floor and listen to the tape up loud singing to the words in the little booklet.... that was until I played it one to many times and the tape player chewed it up.. I was devistated...

First funeral: My great grandma... My grandads mum... I bawled my eyes out sooo much... It was between 10-15 years ago atleast....

First piercing/tattoo: My only piercings are in my ears and my mum got them done when I was a tiny bub....

First credit card: Commonwealth mastercard... maxd out at $4000..... Im currently trying to transfer it over to an ANZ one.. cos its cooler.. haha.. well the card is but no.. the rate is soooo much better....

First true love: Thon.... I thought I had loved before but nothing compared... I was with him for 5 years and it took me 6 months to get over him and then even still Im not sure I will ever be completely... We are still friends..

First enemy:Mmm frankie Johnston.. In primary and high school.. I dont know why he ever disliked me.. He was an angry, smart guy.. who ive heard has done well for himself.. Still dont know why he disliked me so much... And a fucked up chick called Rossette.. who tormented me in high school.. High school sucked...

First big trip: To sydney and Canberra and stuff in a bus tour in year 7... I wish I could rememeber more of it... Cos i did cool stuff liek climb to the top of mount kosiosko...

First concert: Was those guys ummmm... i actually went to see them cos some RnB group from the US was supporting them... but the aussie group was 10 times better... umm who are they.. ummm... I just went and checked... Human Nature... They were really talentd actually.. they could sing and dance better than the US group....

First musician you remember hearing in your house: nup.. I dont really have any memmories of the music my parents listened too... although I do remember listening to the Dirty Dancing tape on the way to my grandmas.. when me, mum and steven used to go visit.. that was cool cos we must have been under 10 and we knew all the words :o)


LASTS


Last big car ride:mmm depends on definition of big.. I dont really go for drives.. its usually just to go vosot someone... so the longest lately was Luisa last weeken.... an hour and 10 mins to get the camberfield...

Last kiss: Mmmm that would be James... how sad... well no not sad... Cos james just made me realise I should be more picky with who I chose to kiss... much more picky... thus why I havent kissed anyone since... despite a few dates and oppertunities... where are all the quality guys???

Last library book checked out: Some gurly one from Dandenong library... I like gurly books...

Last movie seen: Elf last night.... Overall the movie was average but I still laughed my ass off through the whole thing....So much so I was crying cos of it...

Last beverage drank: I have drunk sooooo much raspberry lemonade lately... I sooo need to detox....Water is goood!!! haha

Last food consumed: I had chicken parm... today for lunch.. I havent had dinner sooo im very very hungry....

Last phone call: Dion miss called me... need to borrow his uniform for Nolan tomorrow.. Mmmm sexy Nolan... (Dougs friend from the Uk... sexc accent.. great guy.. here for 3 months.. and back next year for a year !!! yaaaay)

Last CD played: John Mayer... Heavier things... except my comps is retarded and so is my stereo.. so didnt really get to listen to it much... must invest in new stereo....

Last annoyance:Probably stoopid weekend drivers... on the way home from lunch... although work was annoying the last few days..thoufgh im sure its just cos im tired....

Last soda drank: Yummy raspberry... evil raspberry haha

Last ice cream eaten: Boysenberry choc top at southland village cinemas last night

Last time scolded: Mmm probably my mother...

Last shirt worn: mmm shirt? mmmm well im wearing a crappy one now.. but I wore a really nice pink/redish one a few times this week.. It looks great on my boobs haha...

Last website visited: pruesaysit.com



I AM:


I WANT: It all... I zoology job.. a great guy.. a family...
I HAVE: A roof over my head.. and 6 animals that adore the ground I walk on....
I WISH: My life would magically work its self out and that Id finally stick to a healthy weight loss system...
I HATE: That im my mums daughter and not her friend anymore..
I FEAR: That ill never make it into the zoology buisness....
I HEAR: the washing machine, the tv and messenger beeping at me...
I SEARCH: For a me im content with....
I WONDER: Whats so bad bout me sometimes...
I REGRET: Not having the guts to go ask out the english guy I served on friday.. He was beautiful.. there was chemsitry.. and I knew he worked at OPSM???
I LOVE: I dont know... I guess the obvious... my animals , my family and the boys.....
I ACHE: For a few things tonight... the house is quiet.. and im alone... I wanna lie in someones arms tonight... I wanna belong all of a sudden.. and I hate that feeling...
I ALWAYS: feel like im missing something in my life...
I AM NOT: Doing enough with my time.. and even though i know it.. i never do anything to change that....
I DANCE: to Rnb music...
I SING: I sang my ass off in the car on the way home... always parking just ahead of the car next to me so i can convince myself they cant see me.. or so that i cant see them seeing me.... cos then i probably stop...
I CRY: inside...
I AM NOT ALWAYS: happy as you can tell fromt he sharp turn in my journal entry... its cos the last song i listened to was trapped by evanessence.. Its ringing in my head.. and its sooo sad....
I WRITE: best when my heart is broken... Im boring when im not in lust with something....
I WIN: not much these days....
I LOSE: Motivation daily....
I CONFUSE: Conversations and looks from the oppisite sex as oppertunities....
I NEED: To be held tonight....
I SHOULD: really stop wasting time on here and find someone to come hold me...

Ok so now lets do it for jan 2006....


LASTS


Last big car ride: Not so much big... just the hour long drive to my grandmas for chrissy lunch... i dont really do long drives..

Last kiss: An boy at Odeon, probably november last year.. of so sad...

Last library book checked out: Dont do the library thing.. love buying them and currently reading a book my grandmother gave me.. Lady Whistle down....

Last movie seen: Cheaper by the dozen two... was very cute.. laughed alot... liked it better than the 1st..

Last beverage drank: Raspberry cordial..

Last food consumed: Waynes beef curry

Last phone call: Ratika this morning to tell me she cant hang out.. again im dumped..

Last CD played: Might be Craig david...

Last annoyance: Being dumped again by a friend..

Last soda drank: Coke

Last ice cream eaten: mmmm vanilla martini from koko black.. soooooo nice..

Last time scolded: either by mum or boss at work.. both like to scold..

Last shirt worn: dont wear shirts.. but the top i wore last night really showed of the boobs hehe

Last website visited: Village cinemas


I AM:


I WANT: To finish my teaching degree.. earn real money.. have holidays.. a good man.. and a family.. i want a big family...
I HAVE: 6 wonderful animals that adore me.. everything else disappoints me..
I WISH: life was easier... or happier.. i wish i didnt suffer from depression..
I HATE: that i cant get a minute of my mums time...
I FEAR: being alone forever...
I HEAR:an old tarzan movie on tv
I SEARCH: i dont search much im lazy...
I WONDER: why im sooo alone...
I REGRET: meeting james back 3 years ago.. maybe i wouldnt have been so closed off to meeting someone between then and now.. and i wouldnt be alone..
I LOVE: My animals
I ACHE: For more ppl to hang out with.. for more ppl to make me feel liked and wanted and cared for...
I AM NOT: a positive person
I DANCE: to rnb music the most.. i love dancing..
I SING: in the car, really loudly late at night on the way home from the club...
I CRY: alot.. on the inside tho.. almost constantly
I AM NOT ALWAYS: happy.. more depressed most of the time actually
I WRITE: on here abit more these days
I LOSE: have lost my faith in ppl.. ppl suck
I CONFUSE: ppl as friends when they couldnt give a shit..
I NEED: a more active social life.. i need to feel loved..
I SHOULD: try to be more positive and get out of the house more.. i should be seeing my horse..

Im sooo not a happy person...


Ok so now lets do it for June 2007....


LASTS


Last big car ride: To my Grandmas again on saturday :O)

Last kiss: Nick a few months ago.. very very sad... before that was Bruce.. and that was a year ago...

Last library book checked out: Robert Jordan 'the great hunt'

Last movie seen: Georgia rule

Last beverage drank: Orange cordial

Last food consumed: Spag bog

Last phone call: Ratika last night... just for a catch up...

Last CD played: MIxed RnB cd

Last annoyance: Being sick

Last soda drank: IC cola

Last ice cream eaten: Vanilla ice cream at Grandmas

Last time scolded: Probably boss at work? maybe

Last shirt worn: Still dont wear shirts..

Last website visited: Blurty


I AM:


I WANT: earn real money.. have holidays.. a good man.. and a family.. i want a big family... and more friends

I HAVE: 6 wonderful animals that adore me.. and one great friend tika...

I WISH: my degree was finished now and i didnt have to go back to melb uni.. wish i was teaching now...

I HATE: That im alone

I FEAR: being alone forever...

I HEAR:big brother on the tv in the lounge

I SEARCH: i dont search much im lazy...

I WONDER: Who made me sick???

I REGRET: letting some ppl leave

I LOVE: My animals and basketball

I ACHE: For more ppl to hang out with.. for more ppl to make me feel liked and wanted and cared for... (still the same)and i ache for my mum... shes in WA now

I AM NOT: a positive person

I DANCE: to rnb music the most.. i love dancing..

I SING: around my house or in my car when im alone

I CRY: not so much these days

I AM NOT ALWAYS: happy.. little bit less depressed these days...

I WRITE: not enough on here anymore...

I LOSE: I have lost life... i dont live i just exist

I CONFUSE: ppl as friends when they couldnt give a shit.. (still kinda true and cant think of anything else)

I NEED: a more active social life.. i need to feel loved..

I SHOULD: try to be more positive and get out of the house more.. i should be seeing my horse..

Very very interesting.. all up i think lifes the same except that the drugs make it easier to manage :OP

May 26th, 2007

Teaching rounds!!

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Hi all

im currently doing my teaching rounds... and having a ball.. My pracs going amazingly... my supervising teacher is a 56 year old man who is pretty much the man version of me... god the man can talk :OP we get along soooo well and i spend the whole day laughing my ass off... hes abit burnt out.. and doenst like the system so much.. so he gives me an alternative view of teaching... hes also not at all proper with the kids(ie swaering etc) but they respond to that... hes also losing his memeory so ive kinda become his assistant... i remind him what he has and what he last did... its a running joke between us... and he keeps telling me he
wants to keep me so i can keep his things in order haha

The school im at is pretty much filled with refugees.. so the students are a bit messed up...not alot of them will go on to year 11... and they pretty much do no work... but theyre nice about it.. not like at pakenham (where i did my first rounds) where theyre violent and abusive...

I start teaching by myself next week... 4 of his 6 classes... ill be teaching 2 year 7s a year 8 class and a year 10 class... should be fun... I'll keep you posted as it happens..
Okies well i have about 18 lesson plans to write so i should atleast sit here and pretend to do them :OP

Hope everyones doing ok..
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