| Current mood: |  bouncy |
So this has been an average week... and im happy to report that it hasnt kicked off any depression!!!! yaaay for me...
I was sick this week... ridiculously sick... on forte tablets.. ive shared that already... So then i go back to work on wed.. and its an ok day ish... thursday i have my pdf.. and im such a dickhead for expecting that my accomplishments would get me a patt on the back... i wrote it all out in plain english so the boss was forced to acknowledge them.. and instead she told me i wrote to much that i should use dot point... and half the stuff that i did on my own.. she said that carol help with???? WTF... i guess its on me that i expected more... i mean just cos shes been happy in life and smiling at me.. doesnt mean ill get acknowledgement.... Instead.. they make me cry.... like a dickhead.. and not small silent tears.. i mean sobbing screwing face up tears... The boss pulls out a page of all the days i had off last year.. 3 weeks to be exact... and no where on it does she distinguish that twice for nearly 2 of those whole weeks was my back damaged.. FROM WORK!!!! all it shows is heaps of time off... no where does it show that i have BRAIN TUMOR!!! and thus headaches... no where does it say but atleast she didnt get the flu or a cold.. cos in that sense im perfectly healthy... i just happen to be faulty on the inside and none of it is my fault.... sooo mmmm i got grilled bout my headache.. theyve gone to HR to find out about counselling... they asked if i needed it???? They said they could cut back my hours.. if its too much for me???? It was ridiculous.. she spent 2 mins brushing over all id done in a year and an hour making me cry about conditions i have no control over...
So anyways then i go to lunch with a group of ppl... including carol.. and theyre talking about how unfair it is... and they say.. but your allowed to have sick leave.. you still have sick leave owing.. whats the big deal.. and im like well its cos im the only one who gets sick.. carol never gets sick.. and carol pipes up.. ohh no i do get sick i just have a high tolerance than you... and thankfully.. one of the other girls pipes up and says.. but its a different kind of sick.. and im like yes.. finally... CAROL>>>> YOU DO NOT HAVE A BRAIN TUMOR!!!!!!! but as far as shes concerned im just a sook.. ohh forgot to mention.. when i did get back to work.. he first comment was.. ohh you picked a great time to have a long weekend.. we have no pracs???? WTF.. no are you better... nothing...
And then cos as if the women in my lab arent bad enough.. i forgot to put something in an email today.. that i sent for the boss.. she comes storming out of her office to tell me what i did wrong.. i admit i missed something.. go to tell her why i missed it.. she waves her hand in my face.. cuts me off mid sentence and says i dont care... i give this to you to do.. and you should do it right.. i dont want your excuses....
I swear.. im not at all snippy to the ppl in my lab.. not at all.. i dont have it in me to make snid comments... but these women are shocking... thank god i only hopefully have one year.. less than a year.. and no pdf ever again too :O) yaaaaaaaaaay for me!!!!!!
in other news... the cookislands dvd came tonight... i watched it.. and it made me cry.. i was dreading and hoping that someone would put a pic of me and bruce in it .. and they did.. it made me catch my breath... it hurt.. but it was nice.. and not just to see him... but to have him and i acknowledged :O) boy did it make me miss the island tho... god i wish i could be there... i think i wouldnt miss it so much if i wasnt lonely... i mean im doing ok... i seem to be surrounded by ppl.. but i still wake up on a sat morning and rarely have anything or anyone planned.. and i have no boy...
i wrote to rob to remind him that im still waiting for his valentines present from lastyear... i told him i should buy myself a present.. told him i should make myself feel loved.. andhe wrote back.. well see about that... hinting that theres a present comming... my god the boy has said hell send me one.. a hundred time... 154 months of knowing him and nothing.. he cant even call me when he says he will???
Nick is still emailing every day.. I wish i had his number already.. not sure why i havent asked.. guess i like keeping it slow.. not sure why.. but if i had his number.. i could be chatting to him now... but no... im online... chating to girlfriends??? Wheres a good boy to flirt with when you need one???
Ok well ive gone on for ages... its 1030 and i havent even fed myself yet....
Hope everyones well
Love Me
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missas_fable) wrote,
