Boys and boys
I wrote this on my Xanga page...
Why is it that the only boys i like these days are overseas? I swear.... Rob? Ezzy? Dom? Id love to just meet one guy like these ones who actually lives in Oz... and what is it with me and Mechanical engineers?? I seem to have a thing for mechanical engineers.. even if that job means they work in other countries like India and England :oP Am slightly frustrated... all this flirting and such is making me frustrated... what I wouldnt give to have someone here in real time... Then again as i realised from my last relationship a month ago... im actually enjoying my life.. and im very very busy... i always thought i needed a guy.. but after Nick.. ive realised i can make so without one.. and at the very least if im going to let one into my life.. then he needs to be as good as one of those guys previously mentioned.. cos if hes not.. then im most likely going to want to chose sleep over him.. which im afraid was poor Nicks lot in life....
Im not sure if its a chick thing... a kinda cry for attention... or maybe its just that i only do it when im feeling girly... and needing attention.. anyways... the only person who reads my xanga or might is Dom... i guess if im honest... i wanted him to read it and for just a moment wonder who rob and ezzy are.. and for him to read that i actually just broke up with someone.. that i am dating at that im not sitting her waiting for him.. even if i kinda am... I guess i wanted him to feel a twinge.. of something.. anything that makes him realise im not just an ex from 5 years ago... but an opportunity that he is missing... i know he wont think any of this... its a stupid thing i do... where by i set tests for boys i like.. hoping theyll magically pass... but they never do...
So its been two weeks since my last confession.. and well.. lots and nothing have both happened... i didnt hear from Nick for ages.. til one random msg where he asked if he had ruined him chance with me... i told him to write me an email explaining what was going on with him.. it took him a week to write it.. and well turns out the boy is farked up.. and shouldnt be dating in the first place... i understand his issues.. and can see how dating would be impossibly hard... but well i guess i dodged a bullet.. and im thank full for that... cos if i had gone ahead with being with him.. out of loneliness and cos my mates liked him.. even when i didnt.. then i wouldnt sorely regretted it.. as it stands ive just told him that i couldnt be with him anyways.. cos quite frankly i need a man... someone who knows what they want and has the confidence to come after me... someone who i just have to have.. no matter what... and he just isnt that guy.. at all... so yeah.. we could stay friends.. if hes man enough for that.. will see...
Dom and i have been chatting for 2 weeks now... i went abit girly.. got excited bout him.. and his talkings out loud... he always talks about what he dreams of doing but he just doesnt have the balls to do so... so i got frustrated and angry.. we sorted it out.. hes still living his life.. and the idea that i might come over to see him.. wont stop him from trying to find a partner.. we both agree.. that if we were in the same country it would be on... but since that isnt the case and wont be for atleast a year and 3/4 then well... we both just need to live our lives... i just wish.. it wouldve just been nicer.. if he locked himself up til then and waited for me haha.. but not going to happen...
Rob and i are msging again... im trying not to fall for him again.. i guess im just lonely... and msgs from a boy who only disappoints is better than a silent mobile.. i couldnt not handle a silent mobile.... not right now... So it seems to be going ok... lots of msgs.. no real chatting as such.. he keeps droping hints that he will be coming to visit oz soon but hes been doing so for year and 4 months.. so its all just bullshit til it happens..
Work is ok ish... its busy... theres an influx of boys recently.. so thats keeping things fun.. were having a social pizza, popcorn and movie night at work on monday.. so that should be heaps of fun...
You can tell im frustrated.. everything is boys boys boys...
My family are lovely.. family lunch yesterday...w as there for near 12 hours.. was lovely...
my animals are ok.. goldie is showing her 13 years... thank god the heat is going cos shes having trouble with breathing and such... Flicker has lost way too much weight... have to keep an eye on him.. there just no pasture left...
bball is going ok.. i love my girls... had a run in with vikki.. but im thinking its sorted... i swear when that friendship is good.. its great.. but when she has an issue.. shes abit much... sometimes i think its just better to keep her happy than to go through the crapp of living my life when i have to run into her at bball all the time... guess time will tell...
Anyways... i should actually be doing homework...
Hope everyones well
luv Miss
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missas_fable) wrote,
