missas_fable (![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} missas_fable) wrote,@ 2007-10-07 00:57:00 |
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Ok so its been one month since i was last on here.. lots been happening.. well i pretty much broke... im still broken.. both physically and mentally... i guess 3 years of work work work and no rest broke me.. i got sick alot and in the end ive hurt my back... so much worse than ever before.. its now a month and counting and im about 50 % better.. i havent been over to see my family in a month.. i cant drive for two long... im feeling slightly motivated tonight cos i just finally got an assignment done... my 2nd last for the rest of my life... but really under all this im in a serious bout of depression.. not so much the wanna cry all the time type.. but the i cant do anything but get out of bed in the morning kinda depression... my assignment will be 2 days late.. and ive never ever been late ever... so that says alot about how bad i am... i live by myself yet my sink has 7 large plates and 5 bowls in it... and i have no clean cuttlery left... i have rubbish all over the place.. and i havent washed any clothes... so its been bad... thankfully ive atleast filled the sink with water.. so things are looking up :OP
One small victory for this week.. i managed to apply for a teaching job at the school i did my rounds at... it wasnt at all my best effort.. i had to do it the night before... see above for reason.. but i got it done.. lets hope i get an interview...
On other news... i kinda have a man.. well i dont have him but i have had him.. he doesnt want a relationship.. and thats ok.. id prefer we caught up more.. cos well ive suddenly remembered why i like sex so much... but least its something... im still most definitely looking for a boyfriend.. and will give this one up should something real come along... but im not so much in a rush... my lifes far to broken to try and build something with future possibilities... maybe next year.. when everything will be magically be better... or so i keep telling myself...
on another side note... the sex isnt really all that good... its funny how although its been awhile i still remember whats good.. and what most definitely is not.. maybe thats why im not to bothered that he doesnt want to be my bf... mean i have ridiculous chemistry with this guy... instant and exceptionally strong... just his smell turns me on.. and my god can the guy kiss... but the sex is all selfish.. and fast.. which would be fine except for the selfish part... and hes somewhat reserved when it comes to sex.. im thinking he hasnt had too many partners... hes had a long term relationship.. so he knows where things go... but its all just plain and mechanical... and all the fun things i like.. he is freaked out about... i mean.. who doesnt like showering with their partner?? I mean really... but yeah... for now hell do... like i said ... despite all this and myself... i am majorly attracted to the boy... so well see..
ohh speaking off boys.. i seem to be surrounded with boys i cant have or shouldnt... did i meantion how hot my physio... seriously... he just proves that i should be dating boys under 30... god is he hot.. and alas just newly taken...
Okies well ive talked enough.. hope everyones well... Love you all
One small victory for this week.. i managed to apply for a teaching job at the school i did my rounds at... it wasnt at all my best effort.. i had to do it the night before... see above for reason.. but i got it done.. lets hope i get an interview...
On other news... i kinda have a man.. well i dont have him but i have had him.. he doesnt want a relationship.. and thats ok.. id prefer we caught up more.. cos well ive suddenly remembered why i like sex so much... but least its something... im still most definitely looking for a boyfriend.. and will give this one up should something real come along... but im not so much in a rush... my lifes far to broken to try and build something with future possibilities... maybe next year.. when everything will be magically be better... or so i keep telling myself...
on another side note... the sex isnt really all that good... its funny how although its been awhile i still remember whats good.. and what most definitely is not.. maybe thats why im not to bothered that he doesnt want to be my bf... mean i have ridiculous chemistry with this guy... instant and exceptionally strong... just his smell turns me on.. and my god can the guy kiss... but the sex is all selfish.. and fast.. which would be fine except for the selfish part... and hes somewhat reserved when it comes to sex.. im thinking he hasnt had too many partners... hes had a long term relationship.. so he knows where things go... but its all just plain and mechanical... and all the fun things i like.. he is freaked out about... i mean.. who doesnt like showering with their partner?? I mean really... but yeah... for now hell do... like i said ... despite all this and myself... i am majorly attracted to the boy... so well see..
ohh speaking off boys.. i seem to be surrounded with boys i cant have or shouldnt... did i meantion how hot my physio... seriously... he just proves that i should be dating boys under 30... god is he hot.. and alas just newly taken...
Okies well ive talked enough.. hope everyones well... Love you all
